Mask
by Quiet.crash
Summary: We follow Denmark through his angsty day. Supposed to be deppressing. Mentions of SuFin, DenNor obviously. Continued and complete.
1. Chapter 1

I wake up in my bed. I wish I didn't. Today is one of that cursed days when the whole world is meeting. I will have to go and meet them too. I don't want to. But I have to keep my image.

I prepare for the day mechanically. The rutine is killing me. Get up. Collect clothes. Go to the bathroom. Take a shower. Get dressed. Brush teeth. Try fixing hair. Prepare breakfast. Eat breakfast. Collect paperwork. Lock the house. Go to the airport.

Today it is Poland. He acts like an idiot but I still remember how he was fighting for life. In his thousand years history he fighted almost every day and everyone. Destroyed always found a way to come back. He is tough. And not an idiot. Prussia and Russia hate him with passion...

I was glad that he was the host. Maybe because he defeated Sweden several times.

Warszawa was nice. It was living. But people were quiet and in a rush. Not very friendly. Not very cheerful. Minding their own buisnesses.

I was one of the first in the room. I needed time. On the streets I let myself blend with the crowd but here my mask was prepared and put on. Cheer. Grin. Annoy. Be loud. Be obnoxious. Like you were.

I didn't need any mask before. I was just me. Now though I changed. I am more serious than happy-go-lucky like I was. I am more mature now. I don't want any questions though. So I stay hidden. Behind lies and memories.

The Nordics entered the room together. They ignored me. I greeted them loudly and cheerfully as cold as ice on the inside. Now I have an inside like a real Nordic. Stone and ice. No warmth. No heart. Only lies. Like Norway. Like Iceland. Like Sweden. Like Finland. You surprised? Then you probably never saw him on the war. He can be worse that Norway if he wants. Merciless sniper.

They sit far away. That's good. I was hoping they'd do something like that. If they didn't I'd have to talk to them. I don't want to. It's difficult not to let them see me. To keep my delusion. Eventually they're going to see it one way or another. I knew that but I pray to Odin this day is far away. I don't want questions. It's easier alone.

I enjoyed the meeting. It was amusing how England, France and America always can find a way get into a fight. And then Germany's shouting scaring Italy into babbling random things about his beloved pasta.

Italy is one happy man. He has pasta to love. It's making him happy. My love made me an empty shell. Norway killed my joy and made me use that cursed mask of arrogance and happiness.

I had to talk to my love. Try once again. Maybe this time he'll change his mind.

'Hey Norge!' I say as soon as I see him out of the World Meeting Room. We're somewhat alone in the corridor.

He's ignoring me. Again.

Trying to keep my grin on face I put my arm around his shoulders. 'Long time no see! Were you missing me?' I ask already knowing the answer and preparing my stomach for an inevietable blow. It comes fast and forceful. Hurts.

'Get lost, Danmark. You're annoying.' He says. I knew that he'd say something like that. After all we're doing this for centuries now. I try to convey my love to him. He tries to convey his hatred towards me.

'Aww Norge!' I whine. I'm such a great actor... 'That was not very nice!' He shrugs and shakes me off of him. Before I can say something more though he delievers the second blow. That's something new. I wasn't prepared for that and the punch made me stumble and gasp with pain.

'Stay away from me, annoying idiot.' He says and goes away before I can recover. As soon as he's out of my view my grin fells. All fake cheerfulness leaves. Now it's only Denmark. Pure and miserable image of unrequieted love. Pathethic liar. I lie to myself all the time. And to others, too. They never saw this me. The real me.

Suddenly I see Finland standing in the nearby doorway and staring at me. I put my mask once again and greet him cheerfuly although I know it's too late. He saw. No matter how much, it was enough. I can see it in his eyes that he's shocked. This is probably the first time he sees me not smiling. Aside from battle rage I was always grinning. Even when hurt I never let my mask fall. Only recently and when I was sure I'm alone after Norway went away. Seems like this time I forgot to check. No good.

'Hi Fin!' I say happily. He gasps and stares at me intensly. He's remembering, reminding the past. He knows the mask now and tries to remember every time he saw me hide behind it in front of them. And every time I left them to take it off. His eyes are wide.

'I'll be going now, I think.' I say to him still faking cheer. 'See ya on the next Meeting!' With that I leave him there. Before questions start. Before he can realize fully what he had just saw. I'm not ready for this conversation. Not yet.

The meeting is over, I go home. Before anyone can stop me I run away like a coward I am. Usually I'd linger as long as it's possible trying to talk to Sweden or Norway or even Iceland. They all hate me. I'm a masochist. Now though Finland knows. I have to run and prepare for questions. He's the stubborn one. He won't let it slide. Maybe he'd even tell the rest of us. Of them. Of the Nordics.

We were supposed to be like a family. Finland and Sweden are together. Norway and Iceland are brothers. And I? I love Norway. I'm the oldest.

I'm not one of their family. I'm a nasty nuisance for them. For Norway. For Sweden. For little Iceland. For Finalnd probably too. He's too nice to show it.

I lock all the doors and windows once I'm out of the taxi and inside the house. The meeting went okay. The flight back home from Poland was good. I'd stay longer to talk with him or go sightseeing if it's not for current circumstances. I heard his country had some nice views. Especially mountains.

Now though I lock myself in my own house that, though rebuilded several times, is still the same house. From the start. I made it smaller every time. From a mighty castle to a mansion to simple cottage. It's empty. Just like me. Only looks like full of life on the outside to fool people. I leave it only for World Meetings and when I'm needed here. By my boss.

Now, I grab a blanket and settle on the couch. Coffee table in front of me with my laptop and TV remote sitting on it. The computer, I decide and go to make myself a coffee while it's waking to life.

The mug is decorated with my flag. The Scandinavian Cross. They have it on their flags too. I was the first.

The rest of the day I spend pointlessly surfing the internet or playing Solitarie. What an irony.

Once I heard someone knocking on my door. But I did not want any guests and the house looked empty. Whoever it was, went away quickly assuming I was not home.

No phonecalls. I changed my phone number long ago. They never realized. They never call.

Finally I went to sleep in my bed. Cold. Just like me so it took a good while for it to get warm.

My sleep was dreemless. Again.

**/txtbreak/**

**So... I don't really know what this is. Why this is. I wrote it one night. Started around first and ended around three a.m. 26.08.2012. I know that I have an ongoing story but I just had to write it. On my phone so I'm sorry for any mistakes.**

**Please review. I need it. Let me know what you think. Let me get better.**

**And wish me luck with 'Tired'. I can't find inspiration to write it. I started two new stories. With Spamano and PruCan both.**

**So... see ya? I hope you liked it. **

**Maybe you want me to continue this? I... well I did not plan it. But when I ended this I thought it'll be a oneshot. What do you think?**

**I don't own Hetalia. Hidekaz Himaruya does.**


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up just the same as always. In my bed. Before the alarm. I was not tired yesterday. As always. In the past I would go drinking in a bar with some "friends". I don't do it anymore. Nobody noticed. Or maybe they are just too happy with that. I don't care.

Lie.

The truth is I do. I do care. For them. But it hurts.

Too much.

I push the thoughts away. On with the rutine. Pattern never changes. Go to the bathroom. Have a shower. Get dressed. Brush teeth. Try fixing hair. Prepare breakfast. Eat breakfast.

Today I have no appointments. Good. I will finally get to be alone. The mask is tiring. My resolve is cracking. As yesterday showed. It was a mistake to let Finland know. But it's getting harder. Each day. Each hour among people.

I'm disgusted with myself. What happened to the mighty King of The North? I wonder if he'll ever come back.

Or maybe he's just dead.

Who cares anyway?

As the day goes on I do what I always do these days. I settle on the couch and work. Or read. Or watch some films. Usually about war. I miss it. Or "Titanic". As stupid as it sounds I can relate to that film. Guess who is the iceberg?

Work keeps me busy for several hours until I hear someone knock on my door. I ignore it. It's not like _someone_ is there. Probably just an ankieta.

But the knocking does not stop. Quite the contrary. It's more and more persistant. It annoys me.

There is a short brake. I think they will go now. Whoever it is. To hell. But no. They start to call me. I freeze.

It's _them_.

The one that called my name. Sweden. What is he doing here? He hates me. It was mutual. I stopped long ago. What's the point? But Sweden must not be alone. Finland-

Oh. That's right. Finland. Everything clear.

Little gossiper.

Anyway I know Sweden will not go away. He knows I'm home. I never leaved to anywhere without someone with me…

I fear he might break my door. I stand up. I don't want to. Make my way to the door. Take a deep breath. Put on the mask.

Open the door. Here they are. Sweden and Finland.

"Whadda ya guys doin' here?" I ask in whiny voice. The good act. Must be reliable. I went out drinking.

"Danmark." Sweden growls glaring at me. Why he's even here?

"Hello, Denmark!" Finland chirpes at me. "How are you?" Like nothing happened. I'm confused. But go on with the act.

"My head's killin' me. Man what a night!" I laugh attempting in slurring a little. I'm hungover. As always. Never. You can call me an abstinent now. I haven't touched beer in decades. Doesn't help anyway. It's only a reminder of what I lost.

'Can we come in?' Finland asks. I want to scream in frustration. He knows. The old me would never decline.

'Yah sure!' I say stepping back into the house to allow them inside.

It's a catastrophe. They will know everything now. My house is spotless. That's a giveaway itself.

Indeed. I think I've never seen them so confused ever before. I want to laugh bitterly.

And I laugh. Cheerfully as I should.

'Ya guys really look funny right now!' I say happily. Doing this became so much easier than at first. Still it's tough though.

'Denmark! What happened to your house!' Finland exclaim. I swear. Inwardly, of course.

'Nothin' at all Fin! Just got myself a pretty helper!' I lie. That's a good one. But no way in hell I could ever tell them "I cleaned out of boredom spending all days alone in here." Out of the question.

'Uh, wow… that certainly was a good idea then… your house looks… like it's not yours.' Finland says slowly.

'Haha… well, would ya guys want somethin' to drink?' Oh this is awkward. And so hard to keep smiling…

'Beer?' Finland asks, Sweden nodds trying to catch my eyes.

Oh crap. Beer made me depressed. I don't have any.

'Sorry guys but I drank everything on my way back home yesterday. There's nothin' left for ya!' I laugh.

'Oh come on, Denmark! Don't be like that!' Oh, so they don't believe me.

'I'm serious Fin. No beer.'

Apparently this shocked them more than the state of my house. Well that's a catastrophe. Now the questions will start. "All I wanted today was to be alone. Get out already." I want to say. But the old me wouldn't do it. So I have to smile even wider and happier. Good I have them behind my back leading them to the main room.

As clean as the rest of the house. Like no one lives here. I do. I'm just that dead.

They look uncomfortable. Good.

I gave them tea. Earning weird stares. Never meeting their eyes. Never letting the mask slip.

I managed to talk to them for an hour straight. Without a single mistake. Years of practice.

Then Sweden says:

'Look me in the eye, Denmark.'

We are the oldest of all Nordics. We know each other. It takes just one look in the eye. I figured he forgot about that. My eyes are an opened book. Anyone could read in them. They figured. I never looked anyone in the eye.

'Look me in the eye, Denmark.'

Maybe I'm just a coward. One more reason to despise myself. I don't want to show _them_ my eyes. Not after centuries of hiding. But at the same time I felt like I needed to do it.

'Look me in the eye, Denmark.'

They have me. I don't want to be alone. I never wanted. Now they gave me hope. The stupidest thing in the world. I figured I lost it long ago. I guess I was wrong.

Slowly. I lift my gaze. From the couch they're sitting on. To his chest. To his neck. To his face.

To his eyes.

Even Sweden cannot suppress a gasp.

Now he knows.

When I look at his shocked expression. On that face that hardly shows any emotion.

I laugh.

Without the mask. I let it slide. Drop. Disappear for a moment. And show my true feelings.

I laugh. Let out everything in that one burst.

Just laugh. Even harder upon seeing their faces.

They're scared. Of me. Of what they are seeing.

I move my gaze from Sweden to Finland's eyes. I show him everything. Once more he sees _me_. Poor guy. He nearly hides completely behind Sweden.

There is no hint of joy in my posture. In my huge grin that broke on my face. Finally.

'Happy now?' I ask. Make my voice like nothing happened. All full of cheer and laughter. It scares them even more.

They run away. They never feared me before. Even in the battle. Should I be happy?

Perhaps.

I'm not. I'm alone again.

And now they know.

At least they were too scared to ask.

Hope. Maybe they won't tell Iceland.

Or Norway.

Or maybe… it'd be better if they do.

I wonder what expression will Norway have upon meeting _me_. The true me. The new me.

The me he created himself.

I still try to decide if I want to see it or not. Because most likely It'll be the same. Icy-cold. Blank. Cruel. Beautiful.

"Well, let's wait and watch" I think. I'm going to bed now. It's rather late.

I drift off still snickering. They found _me_ scary.

_Me_, their own creation.

That's the first thing that caused me to laugh in a while. Perhaps in a century, I think.

This night I had a dream.

It was a nightmare.

**/txtbreak/**

_**I don't own Hetalia. Hidekaz Himaruya does.**_

**Sooo here it is. The second chapter. I had a hard time recently (or maybe I should say I **_**have**_** a hard time) so forgive me for anything you don't like in this.**

**After you guys gave me so many so wonderful reviews I couldn't do anything but try to get in the right mood again and think of a plot. **

**Did I succeed in this chapter? I really hope I didn't screw this. I tried my best. **

**I hope you like it. I really do.**

**I'm very sorry if you do not. I apologize for everything you didn't like.**

**Well, thank you for reading and reviewing. I love you guys.**


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up with a start. Bolt up in my bed with eyes wide open. Shaking with fear. The nightmare. I've had it so many times in my life. Almost every night. Before I stopped dreaming at all. Now it's back.

It's a memory. Memory of the time when they left me. First Sweden and Finland.

Then Norway.

Even Iceland had finally had enough.

It was fairly okay without Sweden and Finland. We had something among the lines of little family. Dysfunctional but still.

What Norway wouldn't for his little brother. Even go as far as to put up with me.

I miss them both. Norway obviously. But Iceland… I always considered him my littlest brother. I was taking care of him. I loved him from the first day I saw him in Norway's arms. When they came I was dumbstruck. Norway had a child. I was not so sure about it.

But then little Iceland started crying.

I've never saw Norway so agitated before. He took the bundle and started gently rocking it shushing the child until it finally calmed down.

I was euphoric when he let me hold him.

But Iceland grew up to be like his big brother. Like a real Nordic. Cold.

And, of course, hates me too.

Today's routine is a little shaky. The memory once more vivid in my mind. Many years passed after the last one I've had it. I have to remember how to deal with it.

No such luck.

The more I try the more I remember. The more I remember the more I crack. Finally I collapse. My first meltdown in over a century.

Now I can't see the cottage I'm living in. I see the mansion. The place I destroyed to bury the memories of loss. It worked. For some time. Not long enough. It all comes back. I can see how Sweden turns his back and heads into the night. Bloodied, thorn clothes. Finland right behind him. Watching everything with wide eyes. Frightened. I remember.

Norway has his blank expression. Iceland is sleeping upstairs. Poor child.

The scene changes. I was running through all the house. Now I'm standing in the doorway. The doors are wide open. Iceland is standing behind me hugging his puffin. I don't turn. All I can do is watch the night. Norway disappeared. Blend into it.

Left me.

I hear sniffling. It finally makes me turn. I go to Iceland and hug him. He's so little. And clings to me like needs me.

The last change. That child who I was hugging giving and taking comfort now is standing in front of me. He's leaving. His eyes bore into mine. Unforgiving and cold. I can't take it _again_.

'Icey…' I whisper. My voice is cracking. It suddenly pulls me out from the memory and into reality. I'm on the floor. In front of the front door. Where it all started.

Where it all ended.

I stare at the door. It's my door. The one I got recently.

Why there is blood on it? Sweden's blood. Long dried. I see the fingertips printed. I blink and it's all gone. What's going on? I feel lightheaded.

No. No! I grip my head. Tightly. Tighter!

Calm down. Calm down, Denmark. Calm. Down…

Slowly. The anxiety finally leaves. Very slowly. I feel my body relaxing against the cold floor.

I'm exhausted. What just happened?

Am I going insane? That must be it. Finally.

I'm panting. Tightly fisting my hair in my palms. Something like this… never happened before. I 've been having nightmares. Meltdowns. Days of anger. Days of crying. Silent days. Days when I screamed so hard I couldn't speak for the next few days.

Now came insanity. I'm loosing my mind. I'm loosing!

I'm scared. I can't move. All I can do is sit in the living room. I sit there for several hours.

I'm all stiff when I finally decide to carefully move. Slowly. I rise to my feet using the couch for support. Then make my way to kitchen. On wobbly legs. I feel empty. My insides twist with hunger. I realize for how long I was sitting there. Not having eaten anything from the early hours up to now. It's almost midday.

All I can do is grab something to drink. I know I won't be able eat anything. I feel nauseous.

After downing two glasses of water I go to the bathroom and sink into the hot water trying to relax. Forget once more. Forget already!

It's killing me. Again. My feelings settled when I was alone. I calmed down. Slowly but I have.

But now Finland and Sweden interfered. They stirred that settled emotions.

Now I have to still them once more or I'll really go insane.

There is only so much heartbreak one can endure. Heartache. Loss.

Now everything in the house reminds me of what happened. I need to leave. For a good while.

I go to a port. I had my yacht somewhere here. I paid to make sure it won't end up as me. As a wreck.

I find it. Tell my man I'm taking it. And sail. Ahead of myself. Straightly.

It reminds me of the Viking days. So long ago. The happiest era in my life. Here, in the middle of the ocean. No land in sight. I can easily pretend that it's that time again.

I hear the crew members' faint voices, faded clank of metal. I close my eyes and let myself get lost in the memories again. I see the drakkar. Colorful shields hung on the sides.

And people. The most faithful man I've had. Chanting my name. Their captain. They trust me.

I open my eyes. Come back to reality. The memory put me at ease.

I am needed. If not by my family… the by Danish population. Five million people rely on my. Even if they don't know I exist.

There is a place on this earth for me. Fourty thousand square kilometers of my very own land. Plus territories dependent. Greenland. Faroes.

I'm not completely alone.

I'm content with what I have.

I can live for some time with these.

I have to.

I don't go back to the house on land. I stay on the ocean.

Yes, I'm hiding.

Yes, I need it.

I fall asleep staring at the starry nightsky.

This time I dream of blood. Raids with my man. Killing people standing face to face. In fair battle.

I finally had a good night rest.

**/txtbreak/**

**So. How was it? **

**I always write without a plan and what comes out is a surprise to me as much as to you… but this was far more surprising than anything I wrote before! Means I did something weird… Was it that bad?**

**Please tell me what you think. Don't hesitate to tell me. I want to get better.**

**Thank you for reading. So much! **

**Thank you for reviewing! You guys, every time I'm feeling down I can go to the site and read what you told me and it instantly I feel so much better!**

**I love you all!**


	4. Chapter 4

I wake up gently to the sound of the sea. To it's rocking. The sounds of my yacht and the water always put me at ease. The time I spent sailing as a Viking were the happiest days of my life. I killed. Burned. Tortured. Fought.

I had my own drakkar, a faithful crew and friends. Now it's only the sea that keeps me company. This yacht doesn't have the soul my drakkar had. There is nothing special about it. Just a thing. Unimportant. I wouldn't feel a thing if it was to sink now.

I hope there will be a storm today. Just so I can feel excited. Fight a fair battle with the sea, face to face. Struggle. Fight to keep myself alive.

I need to fight for my own life. Before it becomes unimportant as well.

I shouldn't think that. It is important. Even if the people, my people, don't know about my existence. I'm still important to them. Without me… they wouldn't exist.

The light breeze blows straight into my face. It's cold here. Numbing. I like the feeling.

I sigh.

I suddenly realize what I've been thinking for gods know how long.

I feel disgusted.

I'm a man! A nation! The King of The North! What the hell am I doing walking around and pitying myself?!

This must stop. The familiarity of my surroundings helps me too pull myself together. So I'll do it! It's the damn time I stop this womanly whining and come back as myself!

Well… maybe not exactly myself.

I'll still be wearing a mask. At least in front of the majority of the world. I need to stop the crying though. These pitiful emotions. I need to still myself.

I've changed. That's a fact. For the better? For the worst? I have no clue but that's not my concern.

Sweden and Finland know that I've changed. Fact. Now what? Are they going to inform Norway and Iceland, or anybody else? Again, I have no idea. To be honest, I don't really care. I should. That's why I'm fooling them, after all – so that they won't know. But I feel completely indifferent about it now. So what if they'd know? They won't give a damn, probably.

They'd be happy.

But that's just taking wild guesses. That's not what I was supposed to be doing now.

My thoughts are interrupted with a shrill sound of my cell phone.

Well great. My boss just couldn't pick a better time to phone. If anything happened I'm completely out of it.

How do I know it's my boss? Simply: because he's the only one that knows my phone number. I changed it several times already without _them_ noticing. They never needed my number, the first one I got I forcibly saved it into their phones and never bothered to change it. What for?

I answer it and the only thing I can do is stare ahead of myself with wide, surprised eyes.

It's not my boss.

It's Greenland.

'Hello?' I quickly pull myself together and answer her brightly. Old habits die hard.

'Hey there, Greenland? How're ya doing?'

'Denmark? When did you change your phone number? I had to get it from your boss!' Which one, sweetheart. I changed it at least six times already.

'Oh sorry 'bout that! Quite recently I accidentally destroyed my last one and I have yet to figure the new one out!' Oh yes. That was… a year ago when my last phone died. Recently. After all what is a single year to a nation?

'Oh well… anyway. Denmark.' Her voice gets more serious. 'Can you please explain to me why the hell me and Faroes are suddenly called by Iceland and asked frantically where are you and what did you do to Finland and Sweden?'

… What?!

Twenty minutes later I finally could bid her farewell. After a promise to meet them whenever I am. In three hours. I don't want to.

Anyway.

I know two things now.

One – Sweden and Finland still are distressed. A mischievous smirk worms its way on my face. Well isn't it amusing? I talked with them over twenty four hours ago and they still are affected with what they saw under my usual mask? It must've scared them half to death.

Brilliant.

Two – they met Iceland and Norway. As expected from Norway – he was not very agitated when he heard that it's my fault and no, we hadn't have a fight. Nor have I pulled a prank on them. Nor that they didn't want to tell them what I _have _done.

Iceland surprised me.

Apparently he is fed up with my antics so hearing that I did something again he desperately craved to harm me. He phoned me so that I bring my "drunken ass" to where they were.

No such luck.

He tried several times. Even on my home phone. I don't have it for gods know how long now. Then he phoned Greenland and Faroe Islands. They didn't know where I was too. That got them… worried? Greenland decided to phone me too. She couldn't catch me either. So she called my boss.

That's how the things went.

Well, isn't that interesting? I decided to give up. Pull myself together and forget about stupid _acceptance of other people_ and right when I do this they decide to play nice.

I can't understand them.

Why are they worried? I had to tell Greenland three times I'm okay and tell them where I am to meet.

Oh fuck them all.

I sigh.

I'll have to talk to them to figure them out. Without them figuring me.

I need to go back. I spent here twenty four hours. Time for me.

Where am I anyway?

Ah… oh no…

Norway.

Out of all places on the Earth. Near Norway's coast.

Why Odin? Why do you hate me? Freya, the goddess of love, why?

Oh look. I'm doing it again. Damn.

I have no other choice. Must moor somewhere here.

I'm going to meet up with them in two hours anyway.

This sucks.

I can't help it.

Looks like I'll be waiting for them in my love's woods.

I dread every minute.

**/txtbreak/**

**Sooooo… what do you think?**

**Personally I'm not so sure about how it goes… **

**Anyway, the next chapter should be the last, I think… yeah, the last one. And I originally thought It'll be a one-shot XD**

**Thank you guys for making me write more with your wonderful reviews! You make me so happy you can't even imagine!**

**I want to thank here those who reviewed the last chapter – thank you for putting up with me and supporting me for so long! Also special thanks to **Bare en Dansker **– I appreciate that you taught me the history about the time Norway and Denmark had to part! I really like to learn about history of the world, especially my favorite countries XD I'll try to fix the story in the next chapter!**

**So, let me know what you think by leaving a review, 'kay? It'll take you just a minute and brighten my whole day!**

_**Hetalia does not belong to me. It belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz.**_


	5. Chapter 5

I make sure that the boat is securely moored and step out of it going into the woods. I may hurt but I'll always love him. No matter what. I'll just marvel in his beauty while he's not around.

'Who are you?'

I'm not even startled.

'Who's asking?'

'We are the spirits of these woods. And you are not an average human. You are a nation. Or am I wrong?'

'No, you're not. I'm the Kingdom of Denmark.' I say. I've heard a lot about them. There was a time I could sit and talk with Norway. Long ago. I still treasure the memories.

'The friend of the master of this land? Norway's friend?' Friend… I chuckle bitterly.

'Yes. A _friend_.'

'You don't sound very happy.'

'How did you know?' I ask sarcastically. I'm in no mood to deal with curious creatures that work for Norway.

'We are fairies. We are born from the wind and sun rays. We take care of the land we are given. We know no such thing as emotions. Mister Norway… he was just a little child when he first met us. So pure and kind. He decided to help us understand and gave us his own. We made a deal - they will come back to him as soon as we know every human emotion. But back then he himself didn't know every human emotion. And so we still have his heart that is happy and curious. For him every emotion is very hard to decipher. He feels them but muffled.

You are the one in the center of his heart though. There are three others there too but you are the most important to him.

You are nothing like what we know. So you're not happy at all. '

So _that's_ why he's like he is. He wants but he can't. Maybe he even has some feelings for me then? They said…

No, Denmark. That's stupid of you to _still_ dream.

The way to solve this mess is obvious. It is screaming at me. But can I really do that? Show every single one of my emotions, thoughts, every second of my life to these creatures?

That would bring Norway back.

'I can solve this. If you want. I can show you the emotions his heart does not hold. The dark side of this world. Dark side of human's mind. The worst emotions that exist.' I say. I decided.

'You are willing to show us the most privet parts of you? Your very being? Just to bring back Norway's emotions? You care for him very much.'

'I love him.'

'What is love?'

'Love is... a very strong feeling. The strongest among them all. The most complicated and at the same time very simple. It can have many forms and shapes for every each person but in the end the very idea is the same for everyone. You will do everything for that person. There is nothing impossible when you love. It's pure euphoria when two people love each other. Joy that can not be compared to any other.

Love can also be cruel. Unforgiving. You will see it. I will show you. I'd do anything for Norway. Even if he never feels the same.' It still hurts. But that's okay.

'Well then. Let's begin.'

I see everything yet again. Every day from the start. The emotions that Norway gave just fleeting fast. Then it comes to the days of war. The blood. Every failure. Every death. Then they leave me. I see it for gods know which time. It hurts. Even more so combined with every pain that I have ever felt in my life. The feelings are overwhelming. Everything is blood-red around me. I'm drowning in blood, the feelings of regret, sadness, depression, failure, death, loneliness, fear, uselessness and many others are suffocating me. I can't. I can't anymore. No!

I want to die. Please, just let me die.

And then everything is over. I'm washed with images of our childhood. The calmness of our lands. Four boys' laughter. Pure. Innocent.

Happy.

'Thank you. Now we can understand everything. Thank you for showing us your soul despite the horribleness of what was and is in your life. You are brave. We will never forget what you did for us. And nor would Norway. We wish you happiness in your life. You deserve it more than anyone. May the sun warm your soul with it's life and the wind help you choose right whatever you are doing in your life. You have now loyal friends in us - the Fairies of this woods. We could never repay you for what you have done.'

Well at least they are happy. I'm too tired to be. I just sit there. Gripping my head tightly. It's _pounding_.

I feel a light touch on my shoulder. The pain slightly subsides. It's still there. Just not that intense. 'Thank you.'

'No problem. Goodbye for now, Danmark.'

Thy are gone. I marvel the silence for a second. That's how long it lasts.

'DENMARK!' It's gone.

They come closer as I raise my head. I don't have any energy left to pretend. What's the point now?

My life was a constant battle. Blood. Death. Long ago it became lonely. I thought they don't care. They didn't. But now something changed. What do they do now?

'Denmark! You look awful! What happened!' Why do you care?

Then I see Norway. Sweden is carrying him.

'Norway.' I rasp.

'Huh? We don't know either! He just swayed and collapsed! Right on the spot!' It's Finland.

'So it worked...' I muse aloud but only to myself.

'Denmark, idiot. What worked? What happened here? You didn't sound like that earlier on the phone.' Greenland says. Ah, she's always enjoyed insulting people. I guess that's because she is so cold.

'Nothing. Just tired. Had a stressful moment.' Or a stressful week. Or a year. Or a couple hundreds.

They don't look convinced. I'm confused.

Then I see Iceland.

My little brother.

He's standing slightly behind them all. And staring. The look of shock, disbelief and... is that fear? on his face amuses me. I'd laugh if I could.

'Icey. What is it? You look like you saw a ghost.' I say weakly smiling with mock. He jumps hearing my voice. His eyes widen. Poor child.

Norway groans. Sweden sets him down onto the grass. He slowly sits up and rubs his head. Then he looks like he realizes what exactly happened.

His eyes widen and he searches wildly for his old friends.

He sees only us.

My eyes never leave him.

And I'm curious. What will he do?

When his gaze falls upon me he gasps. And asks them to give us two some time. Alone.

They object. But he's strict. They leave. He promised to tell them everything. Especially Iceland.

We're alone. My expression still. His - confused.

The Fairies come back.

I sit still as he asks one question and listens to their answer.

'How?'

They talk for me. I just observe.

When they're done they disappear again.

He waits for an explanation. Has actually tears in his eyes. Wide, violet, _full_ of emotions.

'Welcome back.' I say.

**/txtbreak/**

**So basically that's the end of this story. **

**I may or may not write an epilogue. Depends on what you want me to do.**

**I hope you liked it.**

**THANK YOU for putting up with me for so long. You have no idea how happy I am that you stayed with me and helped me through this!**

**Oh! I didn't correct the case of Norway "leaving" Denmark. I'm sorry but it just didn't fit anywhere here. So. I can do it in the epilogue. That's basically what I shall place in there. Some explanations from Norway to Denmark and the rest. So...**

**Please, tell me what do you think!**

_**Hetalia does not belong to me. It belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz. **__**  
**_


	6. Chapter 6

The next day we (Norway and I) met up with the others. They wanted us to explain what happened. I hoped they had a lot of strong alcohol. I felt like I needed it. I was, after all, going to pour my heart out in front of them. It was mostly me talking and boy if I had a lot to talk about.

I decided to be lazy and let the both of us rest so they were coming over.

Norway decided to spend a night at my place. And no, nothing happened. It took a lot of time for the both of us to be okay with some things.

I will never forget that day. Their reactions were hilarious. They were confused (by Norway's more open behavior) and scared (of me). I burst in laughter when I saw they all had tears in their eyes after my confession. Iceland was sniffing and trying to still himself before I pulled him into a hug. He _did_ care. Otherwise he wouldn't call Greenland and Faroes frantically asking where I disappeared. He was tense at first but then he slowly relaxed and even hugged me back.

They apologized many times.

Norway only gripped my hand. But when they were finally gone he cried for hours on my chest begging for my forgiveness. I could never stay angry with him, especially knowing that his behavior was not really something he could change by himself back then. He lost his emotions, after all.

So I tried to soothe him.

'Norway, it's okay! Don't cry, love. I hate seeing you sad.' But every time I said his name he only cried harder.

Then I remembered.

'Norge.' Bingo. 'Shhhh Norge. I love you. It wasn't your fault. Stop crying, Norge.' Hearing his pet name he started calming down and soon he was only occasionally sniffing, still lying on top of me.

'I'm sorry.' He whispered hardly audibly. 'I... I love you too...'

How many years I've been waiting to hear these words?

My lips slowly stretched into an honest grin. I smiled fully and truly, bigger smile than any I've ever smiled.

He lifted his head and looked at me, brightening upon seeing the change in me.

I've never seen a more beautiful smile.

...

That's how it all ended. And now...

I throw the doors open and smile upon seeing Sweden and Finland standing outside. Iceland is already here.

'Hi guys!' I say (yell) letting them in.

'Hi Denmark!' the Finn says and Sweden just locks his eyes with mine for a fleeting moment. He "smiles" (you know how it looks like, right?).

A lot of things changed...

It's been a year. Since... you know. I don't like talking about it. I much more prefer focusing on present.

'DENMARK, YOU IDIOT! YOU'VE MADE A MESS OUT OF THE KITCHEN AGAIN!' Iceland's furious shout resonated through the house while my (MY!) beautiful boyfriend entered the hall to greet the newcomers with a smile.

Suddenly Iceland runs in as well to stare at me with anxious eyes. They still fear I may go back to what I felt for so long. That I'll forget what they said and did. And they said many things. Mostly that they are so_, so sorry _and they'll never ever let me slip into depression again. They'll always be there form me. They'll never leave. I also learned that Norway never wanted to leave me but Sweden took him and he didn't want for me and Sweden fight again for him because he knew that'd destroy me. Also he didn't know how to cope with the flickers of emotions that he felt so he left without anyone knowing.

I almost suffocated him with my wet with tears hug when I heard this.

I had a hard time believing the rest of them at first and when Iceland or Sweden glared at me or said something hurtful like they always do because that's how they are, I had flashbacks and restored to the mask so that they won't see the change. Norway always knew when I used it. Now though I believe them. They _are_ always here for me. So I learned not to pay attention to their antics. That's how they are. And I'm obnoxious. These are facts.

So when Iceland appears distressed I meet his eyes with my own and ruffle his hair saying 'Sorry, Icey!' cheerfully, not feeling sorry at all. He knows that.

Iceland huffs but I can see he's relieved. Then he greets Finland and Sweden and goes back into the kitchen to clean what I left. I think it's bear that I spilled accidentally when I observed Norge in my too-big-for-him-shirt (only in that shirt) this morning…

'So how's Sealand doing?' I ask leading them to the living room and Finland brightens instantly.

'Oh he's doing great! Right, Su-san?' He's so excited and happy I'm getting jealous. It'd be nice to raise a child with my Norge. We'll think about it. Now we still partially take care of Iceland. He still pretends to be fully independent and that he doesn't need us but at the same time he spends with us every moment he doesn't need to be home.

Now he and Norway come out of the kitchen and sit a tray of food and beer on the table, then make themselves comfortable and join the talk.

The place is, I realized lately, a little too small for the five of us. I think I need to rebuild it again.

This time I'll make it bigger and brighter place though. And I'll rebuild it from the ground. Just like my faith in our friendship.

I don't want to build it on the base of depression and solitude.

This one will be full of laughter and good things, only good memories will be made.

And I'll do anything to keep it that way.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Norway takes my hand.

Oh, yes. I was supposed to tell them today if he felt okay with it.

I smile at him and then grin mischievously looking at Sweden. He lifts one brow. We had a challenge. I was so nervous before that he challenged me to do it. He helped me a lot with this though.

'We have something to tell you.' I say happily. They look at me curious and I lift Norway's hand turning it so that they'll see it's back.

Norway immediately frees it embarrassed but it's too late. They already saw the silver ring. I spent hours looking for it with Sweden's help.

'No way!' Finland gasps. 'You guys are getting married! Oh I'm so happy for you two! Congratulations! When is the wedding?' Then he happily starts to plan our future. I chuckle at him and pull Norway in for a kiss.

Sweden _smiles_.

Iceland sighs. 'Well it was inevitable, wasn't it?' He attempts to look disgusted when he sees our kiss but fails and a very big smile stretches his lips.

'Good luck idiots.' He mumbles and I can't help but laugh.

I'm so happy. Sitting together with my family, holding my blushing fiancé with plans of new house that are soon-to-be-realized.

I can't wait for the future.

END

**Whew! I wrote fluff! It must've been horrible as I suck at it. Oh well. **

**For your sake I hope it wasn't **_**that**_** bad!**

**I LOVE you for staying with me and supporting me through all this time. It means a lot to me. You are wonderful.**

**That's all for now. Bye~!**

_**I don't own Hetalia. Hidekaz Himaruya does.**_


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